WIGS FOR HEROES

Written in May 2018. Its funny isn't it, my look was seriously altered after I lost my hair and I feel like I've finally found my style. Not to blow my own trumpet but...ah what the hell toot toot! I was worried initially when I thought about my hair falling out, but weirdly enough it made me embrace change in such a positive way. I bought new clothes because my weight was gaining,  new make up because my skin was changing, tried out different cuts of clothing, bought funky coloured wigs. All of the things I probably wouldn't have done before cancer. I look at myself now and sometimes flick through old photos that come up on my Facebook throwback and start to compare, and I think 'wow....was that me'. I'm 6 months post chemo, my hair has grown a few inches. Ive dyed it pink, my eyebrows are thicker, my body curvier. Within a year I transitioned into this person that I really actually do quite love. I never thought I'd even get to the point of l

Going back to work after treatment is a big deal, well it was for me anyway. I had so many questions running through my mind and scenarios which constantly kept triggering my anxiety but the main question that was at the forefront of my mind was ...would I be able to cope? I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Stage 2 HER2 Positive Breast Cancer in May 2017 at the ripe old age of 31 and after completing fertility treatment to preserve embryos, shortly after diagnosis, my brutal cancer treatment begun. 5 months of chemotherapy, a lumpectomy, full auxiliary node clearance, 20 rounds of radiotherapy and 18 rounds of Herceptin. It was a busy 15 months that's for sure. When I was undergoing treatment, being at the hospital week in week out became routine, a bit like a really crappy job. I knew what I had to do, knew what could go wrong,  prayed that it didn't , had my lunch on my chemo chair, chatted with other patients like I was in a weird board meeting, but didn't have t

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is tell my dad I had cancer. I knew it would be hard . Daddy’s girl about to cause daddy’s heart to break.  You always want to deliver good news to your parents.  Make them smile.  Make them proud.  Good grades, a promotion at work. Not this. How the heck do I say it...? As usual , I tried to keep a smile on my face. Be strong just like my dad is. I waited at my parents house for my Dad to come home from work. Sat in the kitchen on Mum's brown leather sofa, carrying this shit cloud of news that didn’t even seem real.  My mum opposite me looking at me with this fear in her eyes. Looking at me thinking ‘why my daughter’. I heard the keys turn in the door. My heart pounding anxiously. What word should I say first. My mouths dry.  ‘Well’ he said ‘did you get your results’ he asked me with a worried yet hopeful tone.... ‘Not good’ I said . Trying to hold back my tears. Trying to hold my smile . I will never forget his re

When going through cancer treatment it seems like the days merge into one and the long process sometimes feels like its never going to end. Obviously it will... at some point. Yes we remain hopeful because we don't really have another choice, and yes we have a plan for treatment but honestly....it drags a lot of the the time like a dirty plastic bag, stuck under a car and as things can change so quickly, we can never be fully prepared for it. As one of my instagram friends quite rightly put it, this journey is anything but predictable, you just have to hold on tight! So it was the end of my chemo on 14th November, and I had my Lumpectomy and auxiliary node clearance on the 7th December. I really needed to get away and forget about hospital appointments and watching Jeremy shiteing Kyle for a hot minute otherwise I'd likely go insane, but where to go?! My immune system still being low and my body still recovering, flying abroad was not an option. Annoyed! Cottage Find

When we talk about retail therapy, we often associate it with the help we need to assist us with getting over a dramatic short term event in our lives. A bad break up. PMT. But I never thought it would play a major part in helping me through my cancer treatment. Shopping has always been a fun thing for me, hell I even list it as one of my hobbies on my CV! Shopping for a bargain, shopping for work wear, shopping for parties, the list of reasons to go out and get my 'clothes fix' is endless, so why on earth would I stop what I enjoyed because of cancer? If we rewind the story like we're in a therapy session and try to dissect and get too the root of why I enjoy 'blowing my money' on clothes, we'd probably be able to get dissertation material or even a book out of it, so I won't go into it now but I will however confirm that shopping has always been there for me, like no other, it has. Throughout treatment I've been at home recovering the maj

I was really excited that someone from the Vice Magazine had approached me asking if I'd like to contribute to an article about TV and Movies getting cancer all wrong. Me, a newbie blogger writing for Tonic...of course I said yes! It was August last year and I had at that point in time set up my blog and my Go Fund Me page, fundraising for my charity was going well,  and I had written a few posts to help others. I think the main one at the time which was being circulated was my realists guides tips for preparing for chemo, and also one about me being ' the face of death' - essentially my hospital admission experience. I had a lot to say ...mainly because after putting a wig on, you never would have known that I have cancer and going through chemotherapy. Before starting chemo, I'm not going to lie....due to TV and the movies, I had this whole other image in my head of what cancer treatment was going to be like. One infection then I'm dead. My uncle, at